Quotes about Funny and random

Explore a curated collection of 118 quotes about Funny and random at QuotesRead.com. Discover timeless wisdom, insightful thoughts, and memorable words on Funny and random from famous authors and thinkers around the world.

Dear God, Why don't you ever get inspired by those carmakers who recall defective models? Please be humble, accept that — EverSkeptic
Does anyone else day dream about what it would be like if specific age groups just dropped dead all across the world? — Christy Leigh Stewart
If at first you don't succeed, lower you expectations — Jonathan Tropper, This is Where I Leave You
My imaginary pal up there, Mr. NOT, tells me it's my dog-damn ism to kick your illusory he-man's ass. Now, what do you s — Fakeer Ishavardas
The wider you spread your fingers apart while clapping is equal to the amount of retarded you look while clapping. — Christy Leigh Stewart
If you’re listening to this, congratulations! You survived Doomsday.I’d like to apologize straightaway for any inconveni — Rick Riordan, The Serpent's Shadow
Our problems started in Dallas, when the fire-breathing sheep destroyed the King Tut exhibit. — Rick Riordan, The Serpent's Shadow
I walked in on my folks doing it doggy style less than four hours ago.""Waitress!" Jonas screamed, clicking his fingers — MaryJanice Davidson, Sleeping with the Fishes
Yes, an actual full-sized camel. If you find that confusing, just think how the criosphinx must have felt.Where did the — Rick Riordan, The Serpent's Shadow
so this crow comes and it starts quacking at us. — Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi
When they figure out how to bottle up orgasms and sell them as a food additive, I'll be first in line. — Nenia Campbell, Bound to Accept
Holy mama llama. That’s Nathanial Stone. Nathanial Stone is sitting in my booth. Nathanial Stone is in the Finewhile Din — D.L. Hess, Sir
Dead people are just great. Meet me when you are. — Fakeer Ishavardas
Minimalism is a girl's best asset, blend tones, smudge hard outlines; if all else fails; Photoshop it. — Judith Chambers
Dont act like you are walking around with a Tshirt that says "I give Up!" on the front and on the back saying "I never s — Timothy Padayachee
Be the kind of woman who, when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says "Oh, no! She's up. — Joanne Clancy
Religion is a totalitarian belief. It is the wish to be a slave. It is the desire that there be an unalterable, unchalle — Christopher Hitchens
My childhood was a drag show! — Nuno Roque
Memory is like a box of chocolates. They disappear quickly. — Leah Broadby, A Dreadful Daughter's Spells
What’s not to love? I made friends with a pretty girl and now we get to plan a castle break in. This beats the day to da — Emilyann Girdner, The Labyrinth Wall