You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show yo — George Carlin, Brain Droppings
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You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble.

— George Carlin, Brain Droppings
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More “Humor” Quotes

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. — Peter Ustinov
Comedy is tragedy - plus time. — Carol Burnett
Caricature: putting the face of a joke upon the body of a truth. — Joseph Conrad
The ability to laugh at life is right at the top with love and communication in the hierarchy of our needs. Humour has — Sara Davidson
He deserves paradise who makes his companions laugh. — The Koran
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. — Victor Borge
You encourage a comic man too much and he gets silly. — Stephen Leacock
Any man will admit if need be that his sight is not good or that he cannot swim or shoots badly with a rifle but to to — Stephen Leacock
Anything awful makes me laugh. I misbehaved once at a funeral. — Charles Lamb
Wit is far more often a shield than a lance. — Anonymous
If there's anything I hate it's the word humorist - I feel like countering with the word seriousist. — Peter de Vries
A jest's prosperity lies in the ear Of him that hears it never in the tongue Of him that makes it. — William Shakespeare