Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous
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Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks.

— Anonymous
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openers introductions

More “Openers” Quotes

On how to become a good speaker: Practice all the time. One of the best ways is to put a bunch of marbles in your mouth — George Jessel
Once you get people laughing they're listening and you can tell them almost anything. — Herb Gardner
Goldie Hawn is funny sexy beautiful talented intelligent warm and consistently sunny. Other than that she doesn't — Neil Simon
When I told her we were going to roast her she said "Of course . . . they only crucify the innocent." — Anonymous
A lot of you want me to hurry through the introduction. That's because you're so much older you don't want to waste a mi — Wendy Morgan
Even more exasperating than the guy who thinks he knows it all is the one who really does. — Al Bernstein
We will then hear from the founder of the Mayo Clinic . . . Dr. Ted Clinic. — Dave Barry
The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist Jack. — H. L. Mencken
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? All the rest of you if you'll just rattle your jewelry. — John Lennon
As one skeleton said to the other - if I had any guts I'd get the heck out of here. — Anonymous
Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous
We were worried that our main speaker wouldn't be able to make it tonight. But fortunately due to a hole in the prosec — Anonymous