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Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection. — Anonymous

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Thanks for the nice introduction. Next to my resume that's the closest I'll ever come to perfection.

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openers introductions

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We will then hear from the founder of the Mayo Clinic . . . Dr. Ted Clinic. — Dave Barry

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As one skeleton said to the other - if I had any guts I'd get the heck out of here. — Anonymous

We were worried that our main speaker wouldn't be able to make it tonight. But fortunately due to a hole in the prosec — Anonymous

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare but then I thought Why should I? He never reads any of mine. — Spike Milligan

I hope you will excuse my being late. The person in this organization who gave me directions here has obviously heard me — Anonymous

When I was preparing for this speech I asked my family for advice. One member replied "There's a first time for everyth — Anonymous

Most experts suggest that one should open with a joke. Obviously they've never heard me tell a joke. — Anonymous

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks. — Anonymous

I'm moving down here . . . because some of you in the back might not be able to hear my talk . . . and that wouldn't be — Anonymous

Chasing a man is not winning. The only thing you win is the loss of your dignity. Confidence is knowing your value, inst — Shannon L. Alder

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