I drink to make other people interesting.

It was a woman who drove me to drink -  and you know  I never even thanked her. — W. C. Fields

Once during Prohibition  I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. — W. C. Fields

There is nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation. — John Ciardi

I started smoking to lose weight. After I dropped that lung I felt pretty good. — Michael Meehan

You can tell German wine from vinegar ... by the label. — Mark Twain

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. — Mark Twain

Is life worth living? That depends on the liver. — Anonymous

I&#039;ve never been drunk  but often I&#039;ve been overserved. — George Gobel