Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

Explore a curated collection of 39 quotes by Rodney Dangerfield. Discover timeless wisdom, insightful thoughts, and memorable words that have inspired readers around the world. Browse through the gallery below and click on any quote to read more.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. — Rodney Dangerfield
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. — Rodney Dangerfield
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psyc — Rodney Dangerfield
I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. — Rodney Dangerfield
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had b — Rodney Dangerfield
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. — Rodney Dangerfield
Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it. — Rodney Dangerfield
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers. — Rodney Dangerfield
When I was kidnapped as a child my parents sent a letter to the hijackers me Pay 5,000 dollars or your back — Rodney Dangerfield
I'm not a hypochondriac, but my gynaecologist firmly believes I am. — Rodney Dangerfield
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. — Rodney Dangerfield
You gotta look out for number one, but don't step in number two! — Rodney Dangerfield
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out. — Rodney Dangerfield
Everyone gets their rough day. No one gets a free ride. Today so far I had a good day. I got a dial tone. — Rodney Dangerfield
I haven't spoken to my wife in years-I didn't want to interrupt her. — Rodney Dangerfield
If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all. — Rodney Dangerfield
I'm at the age when food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen tabl — Rodney Dangerfield
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the — Rodney Dangerfield
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joine — Rodney Dangerfield
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. — Rodney Dangerfield