The mind can't delete what the heart won't let go of.

France is the only country where the money falls apart and you can&#039;t tear the toilet paper. — Billy Wilder

When people ask me if I have any spare change  I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet. — Nick Arnette

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex  she objects. — Les Dawson

You&#039;re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. — Dean Martin

I wanted to marry her when I saw the moonlight shining on the barrel of her father&#039;s shotgun. — Eddie Albert

I was the best man at the wedding. So why is she marrying him? — Jerry Seinfeld

Marriage is like a violin. After the beautiful music is over  the strings are still attached. — Jacob Braude

My husband will never chase another woman. He&#039;s too fine  too decent  too old. — Grade Allen

Never get married in the morning  because you never know who you&#039;ll meet that night. — Paul Hornung