Drive-Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought...once you've hired the car... — Tim Key
Drive-Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought...once you've hired the car... — Tim Key
Drive-Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought...once you've hired the car... — Tim Key
Drive-Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought...once you've hired the car... — Tim Key
Drive-Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought...once you've hired the car... — Tim Key
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Drive-Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought...once you've hired the car...

— Tim Key
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More “Dark humor” Quotes

I envy people that know love. That have someone who takes them as they are. — Jess C. Scott, The Devilin Fey
What's the whole point of being pretty on the outside when you’re so ugly on the inside? — Jess C. Scott, I'm Pretty
I am often thought of as being remarkably bright, and yet my brains, more often than not, are busily devising new and in — Alan Bradley, The Weed That Strings the Hangman's Bag
One hand was behind his back, and he held it out, presenting a bouquet of white and smoky purple lilies. “They’re straig — Jess C. Scott, The Devilin Fey
So I heard the boom of my father's rifle when he shot my best friend. A bullet only costs about two cents, and anybody c — Sherman Alexie, The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian
For 3 million you could give everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we could dig a hole so deep we could hand her over to Sa — Frankie Boyle
The Angel of Death is always a young person, or a group of young people, you'll begin seeing them left and right soon. — Benjamin R. Smith
In 5-billion years the Sun will expand & engulf our orbit as the charred ember that was once Earth vaporizes. Have a nic — Neil deGrasse Tyson
I hear they make greeting cards now to thank your therapist... for NOTHING — Casey Renee Kiser, Swan Wreck
It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then it's fun and games you can't see anymore. — James Hetfield
If per capita was a problem, decapita could be arranged — Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man
If you removed all the arteries, veins, & capillaries from a person’s body, and tied them end-to-end…the person will die — Neil deGrasse Tyson