Deep down I'm really shallow.

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not. — Fran Lebowitz

When compelled to cook  I produce a meal that would make a sword swallower gag. — Russell Baker

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. — W. C. Fields

It gives me great strength to know that half the people I meet are below average. — Anonymous

I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing other patients. — Oscar Levant

We&#039;d all like a reputation for generosity  and we&#039;d all like to buy it cheap. — Mignon McLaughlin

I may have faults  but being wrong ain&#039;t one of them. — Jimmy Hoffa

I&#039;m not at all stuck up . . . although  judging from those around me  I have every right to be. — Anonymous

Lead me not into temptation  I can find the way myself. — Rita Mae Brown

I&#039;ve got nothing against girls in tight sweaters - darn it! — Anonymous

Let&#039;s just say  he has too many pigeons on his antenna. — Anonymous