If the Olympics ever included American soccer, I can only hope it would be basketball instead of football. Even chess can hurt if you try too hard.

I play in the low eighties. If it&#039;s any hotter than that  I won&#039;t play. — Joe E. Lewis

I asked my instructor how I could cut ten strokes off my score. He told me to quit on hole 17! — Arlene Powers

Gimme: An agreement between two losers who can&#039;t putt. — Jim Bishop

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can&#039;t see him laughing. — Phyllis Diller

Golf is not a matter of life or death. It is much more important than that. — Rod Powers

player: Can I reach it with a five iron? caddie: Eventually. — John Adams

Golf and sex: Two things you can really enjoy without being that good at them. — Anonymous

Golf is a good preoccupation  but as the meaning of life ... it lacks a few things. — Scotty Brown