They lie deadly that tell you have good faces.

He loves to eat - he puts mayonnaise on an aspirin. — Joan Rivers

Apparently  he was not the sharpest quill on the porcupine  if you get my drift. — Dave Barry

You might say he was one taco short of a combination platter. — Robin Williams

I can&#039;t believe that out of a hundred thousand sperm  you were the quickest. — Steven Pearl

Cheap? If he was at the Last Supper  he would have asked for separate checks! — Robert Orben

I&#039;ve just learned about his illness  let&#039;s hope it&#039;s nothing trivial. — Irvin S. Cobb

Why does our host always have tears in his eyes after sex? Due to the pepper spray. — Ji&#039;ll Schall

I take him to McDonald&#039;s just to watch him eat and see the numbers change. — Joan Rivers

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man. But then he has much to be modest about. — Winston Churchill