Just because you’re allowed to use magic now you don’t have to whip your wands out for every tiny little thing!

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That&#039;s his. — Oscar Wilde

A man should be taller  older  heavier  uglier and hoarser than his wife. — Edgar Watson Howe

Men like cars  women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes. — Rita Rudner

Men don&#039;t get cellulite. God might just be a man. — Rita Rudner

Boys don&#039;t make passes at female smart asses. — Letty Cottin Pogrebin

Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women. — Marion Smith

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up. — Ogden Nash

A secretary must think like a man  act like a lady  look like a girl and work like a dog. — Anonymous

If you talk to God  you are praying  if God talks to you  you have schizophrenia. — Thomas Szasz

You want to make God laugh? Tell him your future plans. — Woody Allen

I wanted to become an atheist but I gave it up. They have no holidays. — Henny Youngman