Quotes by Stephen Colbert

Explore a curated collection of 52 quotes by Stephen Colbert. Discover timeless wisdom, insightful thoughts, and memorable words that have inspired readers around the world. Browse through the gallery below and click on any quote to read more.

Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority. — Stephen Colbert
If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence fr — Stephen Colbert
Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while re — Stephen Colbert
Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some. — Stephen Colbert
There's nothing wrong with stretching the truth. We stretch taffy, and that just makes it more delicious. — Stephen Colbert
God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way. — Stephen Colbert
If God wanted us to get high, he'd have created plants that became psychoactive when eaten or smoked. — Stephen Colbert
Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly jus — Stephen Colbert
If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as s — Stephen Colbert
Librarians hoard the wisdom of humanity. They are the keepers of all knowledge, the guardians at the temples of understa — Stephen Colbert
I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set u — Stephen Colbert
Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it's 2/3 empty. There's still som — Stephen Colbert
Senator John Kyle claiming that over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does is abortion.Stephen Colbert: Over 90 per — Stephen Colbert
I don't like the new president who hunts muslim extremists, I like the old president who is a muslim extremist. — Stephen Colbert
I like talking about people who don't have any power and it seems like some of the least powerful people in the United S — Stephen Colbert
There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good. — Stephen Colbert
I hold a little fundraiser every day. Its called going to work. — Stephen Colbert
In God's eyes all children are beautiful but here on earth we have higher standards. — Stephen Colbert
The interesting thing about grief, I think, is that it is its own size. It is not the size of you. It is its own size. A — Stephen Colbert
If women are breadwinners and men bring home the bacon, why do people complain about having no dough? I'm confused. Also — Stephen Colbert