Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

Explore a curated collection of 40 quotes by Jerry Seinfeld. Discover timeless wisdom, insightful thoughts, and memorable words that have inspired readers around the world. Browse through the gallery below and click on any quote to read more.

Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better pl — Jerry Seinfeld
Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason — Jerry Seinfeld
Elaine: Ugh, I hate people.Jerry: Yeah, they're the worst. — Jerry Seinfeld
It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. — Jerry Seinfeld
The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Eve — Jerry Seinfeld
Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end. — Jerry Seinfeld
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? — Jerry Seinfeld
I don't understand women at all. Like how a women can pour boiling hot wax onto their upper thigh, then rip the hair out — Jerry Seinfeld
There is no such thing as fun for the whole family. — Jerry Seinfeld
Keep your head up in failure, and your head down in success. — Jerry Seinfeld
I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into — Jerry Seinfeld
A bookstore is one of the many pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking. — Jerry Seinfeld
The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want! — Jerry Seinfeld
The best revenge is living well. — Jerry Seinfeld
There's no way that moving in with your parents is a sign that your life is on track. — Jerry Seinfeld
I was the best man at the wedding. So why is she marrying him? — Jerry Seinfeld
I was the best man at the wedding. So why is she marrying him? — Jerry Seinfeld
I was the best man at the wedding. So why is she marrying him? — Jerry Seinfeld
I was the best man at the wedding. So why is she marrying him? — Jerry Seinfeld
I was the best man at the wedding. So why is she marrying him? — Jerry Seinfeld