Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

Explore a curated collection of 118 quotes by Ambrose Bierce. Discover timeless wisdom, insightful thoughts, and memorable words that have inspired readers around the world. Browse through the gallery below and click on any quote to read more.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. — Ambrose Bierce
You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps. — Ambrose Bierce
The covers of this book are too far apart. — Ambrose Bierce
In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded — Ambrose Bierce
Beware of the compound adjective, beloved of the tyro and the 'poetess'. — Ambrose Bierce
Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion. — Ambrose Bierce
acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. — Ambrose Bierce
diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country. — Ambrose Bierce
You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older — Ambrose Bierce
History – An account mostly false, of events unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers — Ambrose Bierce
God alone knows the future, but only an historian can alter the past. — Ambrose Bierce
Marriage, n.: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, tw — Ambrose Bierce
Grief is an artist of powers as various as the instruments upon which he plays his dirges for the dead, evoking from som — Ambrose Bierce
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. — Ambrose Bierce
The hardest tumble a man can take is to fall over his own bluff. — Ambrose Bierce
In the presence of death reason and philosophy are silent — Ambrose Bierce
A popular author is one who writes what the people think. Genius invites them to think something else. — Ambrose Bierce
TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his d — Ambrose Bierce
DOG: A kind of additional or subsidiary Diety designed to catch the overflow or surplus of the world's worship. — Ambrose Bierce
Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Woul — Ambrose Bierce