80 Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor

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80 Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor. Here are the best funny witty quotes to read from famous people that will inspire you and will make you smile at the same time. Being witty is defined as using words funnily, cleverly, humorous, but not offensive. May these witty quotes about life help you feel better, spice up your day and make you smile a bit while acquiring wisdom and knowledge, in which you can also apply in real-life situations. Share these short witty quotes with your friends, family, and loved ones to inspire them as well.

Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



1. The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas. – Linus Pauling




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



2. A life lived in fear is a life half-lived. – Spanish proverb




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



3. All progress has resulted from people who took unpopular positions. – Adlai E. Stevenson




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



4. Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right. – Henry Ford




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



5. When you are angry, try your best to go to sleep because it keeps you away from speaking, writing, and thinking. – Amit Kalantri




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



6. If money doesn’t grow on trees why do bank have branches? – Anonymous




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



7. So just let me deal with it, I can be emotionally flawed and still love you all at the same time. I’m a great multitasker. – Holly Hood




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



8. A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward. – Franklin D. Roosevelt




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



9. You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions. – Naguib Mahfouz




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



10. Intelligence is more important than strength, that is why earth is ruled by men and not by animals. – Amit Kalantri




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



11. Human beings aren’t rational animals; we’re rationalizing animals who want to appear reasonable to ourselves. – Eliot Aronson




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



12. I wasn’t used to guys making me blush, and I wasn’t sure why he even was making me blush. – Holly Hood




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



13. Pretending to care what men think is an art. It takes moments to learn, but lifetimes to master. I’d like to believe I’m an expert. – Dennis Sharpe




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



14. You should praise, criticize and flirt with people right to their face, only then it will make a difference. – Amit Kalantri




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



15. Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things. – Peter Drucker




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



16. Arguing with a fool proves there are two. – Doris M. Smith




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



17. You noticed that I wore this outfit twice? Why, the only thing you wear twice is a sour expression. – L.M. Montgomery




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



18. We find comfort among those who agree with us, and growth among those who don’t. – Frank A. Clark




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



19. I am not fat, I am just easier to see. – Anonymous




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



20. Friends are like melons; shall I tell you why? To find a good one, you must one hundred try. – Claude Mermet




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



21. By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. – Robert Frost




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



22. It ain’t what you know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so. – Mark Twain




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



23. Don’t be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. – Ralph Waldo Emerson




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



24. Improve by 1% a day, and in just 70 days, you’re twice as good. – Alan Weiss




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



25. The worst distance between two people is misunderstanding. – Anonymous




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



26. Don’t worry about people stealing an idea. If it’s original, you will have to ram it down their throats. – Howard Aiken




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



27. I don’t have a bad handwriting. I have my own font. – Anonymous




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



28. Whoever best describes a problem is the one most likely to solve it. – Dan Roam




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



29. Dreams have only one owner at a time. That’s why dreamers are lonely. –  Erma Bombeck




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



30. Time is a great healer, but a poor beautician. – Lucille S. Harper




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



31. I not only use all the brains I have, but all that I can borrow. – Woodrow Wilson




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



32. Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don’t laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions. – Criss Jami




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



33. What gets measured gets managed. – Peter Drucker




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



34. Faced with the choice between changing one’s mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof. – John Kenneth Galbraith




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



35. Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them. – Anonymous




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



36. The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. – Richard P. Feynman




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



37. Fools learn from experience. Wise men learn from the experience of others. – Otto von Bismarck




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



38. All mankind is divided into three groups: those who are immovable; those who are movable; and those who move. – Benjamin Franklin




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



39. I am not arguing. I am simply explaining why I’m right. – Anonymous




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



40. An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory. – Ralph Waldo Emerson




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



41. Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with. – Anonymous




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



42. The problem human beings face is not that we aim too high and fail, but that we aim too low and succeed. – Michelangelo




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



43. Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration. – Thomas Alva Edison




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



44. Knowledge is proud she knows so much; wisdom is humble that she knows no more. – William Cowper




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



45. Every man is the architect of his own fortune. – Anonymous




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



46. We can’t always build the future for our youth, but we can build our youth for the future. – Franklin D. Roosevelt




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



47. He who wrestles with us, strengthens our nerves and sharpens our skills. Our antagonist is our helper. – Edmund Burke




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



48. If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will avoid one hundred days of sorrow. – Chinese Proverb




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



49. How you think when you lose determines how long it will be until you win. – Gilbert Keith Chesterton




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



50. Do your own thinking independently. Be the chess player, not the chess piece. – Ralph Charell




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



51. Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups. – Anonymous




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



52. It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. – Charles Darwin




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



53. Playing it safe is the riskiest choice we can ever make. – Sarah Ban Breathnach




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



54. I don’t let go of concepts. I meet them with understanding. Then they let go of me. – Byron Katie




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



55. The greatest risk is to risk nothing at all. – Anonymous




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



56. The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make a mistake. – Elbert Hubbard




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



57. I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail. – Abraham Maslow




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



58. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. – Tom Robbins




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



59. If everything seems to be coming your way, you’re probably in the wrong lane. – Anonymous




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



60. However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results. – Winston Churchill




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



61. I’m an angel. The horns are only there to hold up the halo. – Suzanne Wright




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



62. There is never a better measure of what a person is than what he does when he’s absolutely free to choose. – William M. Bulger




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



63. Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth. – Benjamin Disraeli




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



64. If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative. – Woody Allen




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



65. Life is like a bird, it’s pretty cute until it shits on your head. – Anonymous




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



66. My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person. He believed in me. – Jim Valvano




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



67. It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company. – George Washington




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



68. Life’s tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late. – Benjamin Franklin




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



69. To keep the dream alive, hit the snooze button. – Anonymous




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



70. If Plan A doesn’t work, the alphabet has 25 more letters. Keep calm. – Anonymous




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



71. It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance? – Ronald Reagan




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



72. Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward. – Soren Kierkegaard




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



73. Maturity involves turning an insult into a feedback. – Aniekee Tochukwu Ezekiel




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



74. Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle. – Plato




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



75. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. – Anonymous




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



76. The world hates change yet it is the only thing that has brought progress. – Charles F. Kettering




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



77. Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task. – William James




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



78. Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid. – Kim Hubbard




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



79. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. – Anonymous




Funny witty quotes about life with mind-blowing humor



80.  I’ll go anywhere as long as it’s forward. –  David Livingstone

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